Monday, August 30, 2004

Lessee... what's happened since I last posted?

I did meet up with Reefer Madness Dave that night I went to Butterfly Lounge. We stayed up 'til 8 in the morning talking (and doing other stuff). Ammy dared me, egged me on, challenged me to screw 'em that night. She even threw me a latex-free condom my way to "seal the deal" but, alas, I did not. Good girl. It was easy to not have sex with him. It's just not what I want or need at the moment. Ugh! Far from it! Besides that, it'll be nice to get to know Dave again but in another way and to see him through his journey. I did also see him this weekend after the Sweet and Tender Hooligans show (see below) for a cup of coffee at 2am. He called and REALLY wanted to see me even if it was for an hour. It was brief but nice. This week he's going to Burning Man and we're planning a get-together when he returns. Stay tuned.

So this weekend Ralph and I had planned a road trip down to OC to see the Hooligans play at the Galaxy Theater in Santa Ana. I must say it was SOOOO worth the drive! It was an excellent show. Much, much, much better than the one they played at Plush. I was enthralled. Flaming Hetero Mark ended up inviting himself along with us which was no big deal other than he had to share a room with me and Kai. We dropped Ralph off at Rick's house and then headed off to IKEA for a day of shopping. Mark was in heaven (which I knew he would be). We want to go back but rent a passenger van for the trip just so we can take back big stuff (rugs, bookcases, etc) with us.

I feel like a big, fat pig and am egging Ralph on to start walking the dog with me after work. Not sure what I'm going to do for the 3-day weekend. Maybe get started again on getting all the crap done on the house that I've been putting off for the past 2 months? SIGH.

As for Grey, I let him have it last week. He's a shitty friend. Flakey McFlakerson. I guess I'm trying to elminate any and all draining relationships in my life that aren't benefitting me in the least: namely him and Kemi. I flamed him and haven't heard from him since. I know he's ignoring me. Part of me hope he rots and part of me wishes he'd at least dignify me with a response. Oh well! Out of sight, out of mind again.

Still got the itch to move! I figure I'll wait 'til the market picks back up again and then try looking for jobs in an affordable enclave. Although I am worried that I'll find someplace, live there for a few years, and then start to feel completely unsatisfied with life and my surroundings and I'll want to move again. That isn't so wrong, is it?

I need a massage.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Here's the weather report: men still suck ayass. That's right, Bitch. You heard me! Sorry, but if you have a penis I'm probably not going to think too highly of you. If you're keen and steadfast enough to just be my friend and don't try any funny stuff then we'll be just peachy.

Today I got a random IM from some guy in Texas I talked to briefly a few months ago. He dropped off the face of the earth and haven't heard much from him until this afternoon. He explained he was happier than a pig in shit 'cause he'd finally met someone, was on cloud nine, and wanted to tell everyone about his good fortune. In the nicest way possible I explained that I did not give a shit (and I really didn't). Why on earth would I give a rat's ass about some guy finding his soulmate when we stopped talking months ago? Go share your news with someone who cares. Argh.

If that wasn't weird enough, I keep having dreams of destruction and kicking ass. The other morning I was a nuclear powered superhero fighting off alien body snatchers who'd taken over a fleet of naval ships. One of them took over the body of a Navy kid who looked just like Ashton Kutcher. Fuckable indeed! But ya think I took advantage? Hell no! He was really just an alien afterall and I ended up rearranging his body parts Jackie Chan-style into the most hiedeous of shapes. Very gruesome but hey! It was a dream and I can't stop what pops into my head during some hardcore REM-time.

Decided on going to Cali this weekend to check out the Butterfly Lounge (Fat Chix Rule!) again. Megan and Michelle were already going. Ralph and Ammy decided to also come along for the ride. I'll probably meet up with Reefer Madness Dave there. I'm actually looking forward to seeing him. He makes me laugh. I'd forgotten how much until he called me on Monday night. He took the first steps and went to see a counselor. Good for him. Hope he sticks with it. Wonder if he's just as funny without the weed?

Oh yeah... even though I hate 99.99999% of men right now I have finally found a nice, hottie celebrity to focus my sexual fantasies on: Seth Meyers from SNL. Watched him on Celebrity Poker Showdown. He is cuuuuuute! Wonder if he's gay? He acted kinda gay-ish but that is sooooo my type! Kinda looks like Grey. But hell! In my fantasies, he is NOT Grey..... um, yeah. Far from it. Grrrrrrrrlllllllll! W00t! Also picked up a Smiths/Morrissey mag to see if I couldn't boost the self-grat libido some. But I am finding that instead of looking at the pics of Morrissey with his shirt open ala the "Your Arsenal" cover, I'm feckin' reading the articles! Cheebus Christ.

Quit hoggin' all the Lucky Charms! GOSH!

Monday, July 19, 2004

All kinds of stuff has happened since June 2nd. I went on a needed and well deserved vacation to the Caribbean. Too bad... no Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom in site, dammit. The boat was filled with shitloads of gag-a-riffic newlyweds. I should flog Mom for picking the fucking Love Boat. Grrr... Oh well, better luck next time. I did score a Coach bag to quell my feelings. Mmmm.... the smell of rich corinthian leather.

My attitude towards men in general has taken a drastic turn for the worst. Men suck. So, to give myself a break from rejection, I've pulled all my singles ads. All but 2... eHarmony stays (but I am thinking that won't last for long) and True (all in the same of research for a Pudge-a-riffic article but I'll pull that as soon as I'm done). Ahhh, wonder how long these episodes last for? I'm hunkering down and riding out the "Men suck" storm.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Memorial Day was good... unproductive but good. I'd planned to paint but ended up saying "Screw it" just for the fact that how many 3-day weekends do you get in a year? I was going to enjoy this one. Saturday was spent being a lazy turd, giving Kai a bath and a pedicure, dying my hair, doing some laundry. Sunday I ran errands: new tires, lunch at Rubios, a stop at Wild Oats and that new store Vavoom. The Vavoom people were real nice! Bought a CUTE top and purse. The top was more revealing than I'm used to but I wore it that very night for some fun on the town and I got lots of compliments (and stares). That leads me to Sunday night's activities: picked Kemi up for a rarer than rare night out, met Megan and 2 of her friends at the Peppermill for dinner, then booked it over to the Double Down to watch Uberschall which didn't start on time so instead we went next door to the lesbian bar The Free Zone. Had some drinks, did some dancing, then went back to the DD and watched a set but goddamnit if it wasn't a thousand degrees in the place! At 2:30am, Kem and I opted to go home. She had to work the next day anyways. Sunday was spent at a 51's game. Ralph hooked me up with his seats. I took Megan and Ammy along. We were sweating our asses off but we did get some sun. The three of us were talking about going to Mexico for a long weekend in Sept. for Ammy's birthday. Oh, the trouble the three of us could get into!!! As much as I love Kemi, it's good to have babyless girlfriends!! After the ball game I went home to shower and change and hauled butt down to Henderson to meet up with Frank for a BBQ. It was good seeing him! I actually miss hanging out with him believe it or not.

All in all, it was a great weekend! For me, it's officially summer and I am ready to party.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Lots to catch up on. Been hanging with Ralph a lot more lately. Nice guy, that Ralph. He's a good convo. I took him with to the River this past weekend. Dad invited him out there as payback for help with the floors. Had a blast! The weather rocked. We BBQed and watched MXC. Had a tire blow out on the way there. Thank GOD Ralph was with me as I've never changed a tire before in my LIFE! It's handy having man friends.

Ahhh! 3-day weekend! Gonna be paintin', hangin' with the girls, going to a BBQ with Frank while he's in town. Got tickets to the 51s game on Monday. Hope it ain't hot!

Now... onto the fun stuff. Have hung out with Mike a few times since the night at the Double Down. Goddamn if he isn't a CUTIE! I'd so totally date him if he wasn't moving to HellAy! The sparks are flying! Stand back as you might get burned. Man! It's hard to say "no" to him and vice versa. We're being very open about the consequences of doing anything rasche as neither of us want to get involved only to have to end things in a month. Why do I always pick the ones that aren't going to work out?? SO FRUSTRATING. Well, heh heh... more like "fuckstrating" at this point as I want Mike.... BADLY! ARGH!!!!!!!! Damn you, Hormones... DAMN YOU!

I suppose now is a good time to sit back and ask myself what I want and need. Sometimes, I think I don't want a serious relationship. On the other hand, I just want all the good stuff that goes with one and I don't want to feel guilty for going after that. But then again, I don't want more "notches in the bedpost". My moral fibre is strong now for some reason. Is that my age working it's way to the surface? But I sometimes feel like I can't wait anymore. Hormones are a bitch! Who's going to win the Battle Royale: hormones or willpower? Stay tuned!!

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Hmmm, lots of drama going on the past 2 weeks with the bbw group and Amy. She turned out to be a real Nazi. I told her to stick her list up her size 24 ass and walked. Life's too short to deal with crap like that. In due time, I suppose I shall start my own list. I just want to step back for awhile and enjoy not having to plan shit.

In retaliation to the list drama, I focused all that energy back on myself and had one of the busiest weeks ever. Met some new peeps (Mike and Megan), reconnected with Mourgie/Ammy, been chilling mucho with Ralph. Been drinking lots, staying up late, and just going out and keeping my fat ass busy.

Had a date on Thursday with some guy from HellAy. Nice guy, good convo, NOT my type, unfortunately. But I could see us being friends. Dug his accent (he's from Israel), very smart, sort of money-centric, short, chubby, great eyelashes. Ehm... yeah. Your typical the-spark-isn't-there kind of date.

Getting back on the wagon isn't so bad afterall. Still think of Grey.... think of him lots. Just not in a sad, I-wonder-what-could-have-been way. Just more like remembering the good things about him I liked that I wish I could find in someone else. He keeps mentioning all these gals at work that want to get down his pants. Can't quite tell if he's telling me to make me feel jealous or what? If he's trying to make me jealous, it isn't working. Is it supposed to at this point? I have no idea. But, yeah..... it's not working.

Megan is cool as hell! I really like doing things with her 'cause when she says she's going to do something, she does it! And she's pretty much game for just about anything. Plus, we are good at trading notes about the guys we've dated in Vegas. Seems her and I have crossed paths on a few losers so far. Hilarious stories to share with one another (Thank GOD nothing materialized with that dizzy bald mutherfucker). I think her and I shall get along just fine. Mike, well... he's downright sweet and cute as hell. We get along fabulously. Talk about a spark! Ha ha!! It's there, alright. Not sure where things could go since he's moving to CA in 2 months but I'd be satisfied just being friends. He's a riot. We totally have the same sense of humor. We're planning an outing to the drive-in this Friday. How white trash can you get?

Trying to get Ammy and Ralph connected. Looks like I might have some work to do. It's worth a shot as both are good people. Crossing my fingers, legs, and eyes.

Speaking of Ralph, we're supposed to be going to the River soon. It's Dad's way of saying "Thanks" for all of Ralph's help with my floors. He's a good chat so I know we'll have fun at on the water and Dad will probably get a kick out of him.

Tammi's bro Josh is in town and staying at the house for 3 days. Took him to a 51s game today. We had AWESOME seats right behind home plate. Even had our own gopher boy to get us hot dogs and beer.

Slightly sunburned, tired, and in dire need of some nicotine.

Peace out.

Friday, May 07, 2004

A funny thing happened yesterday and the day before... quite ironic in a way.

As of late, I've been talking to more boys from online. Christian from Orlando and I were talking Wednesday night about "scruples" and the question came up about dating. Somehow we got on the subject of would you rather date a fat, smart guy or a gorgeous, dumb one? I said I'd take the fat guy. Christian thought that was "unacceptable" as he reasoned there had to be some level of phyical chemistry there and who in their right mind wants to date a fat guy (afterall, they're so "lazy")? My reasoning might be "unacceptable" but it's MY reasoning. He just doesn't realize that going for substance over looks is what makes women such complex creatures. Is a guy's rock hard abs or dazzling smile going to be able to comfort me when I'm sad or take care of me when I'm old and sick?

As the conversation progressed, I even admitted that I would date a disabled guy. If you click on all levels, who cares if they're physically not 100%? As long as it doesn't affect their mind and ability to communicate. And then (here's the ironic twist) last night I met an absolutely stunning, intelligent guy. He's fucking hot, gorgeous eyes and smile, smart, educated, funny, witty, easy to talk to.... and disabled from the chest down. Chance, you say? Who knows?

I think I'm going to really enjoy getting to know him and forgetting about that shallow Christian fellow.

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